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All 3 game Reviews


GRAND ADVENTURE! GRAND ADVENTURE!

Rated 1 / 5 stars

You win.

I'll start with what I liked about the game.
All the hints for the orbs were well placed, anyone who knows what sorts of things to keep an eye out for should find them with minimal issue.
All the mechanics were taught by letting the player figure them out right before they'd have to really use them.
That's good game design, and something big devs have long abandoned in favor of just telling players what to do and how to do it.
The presentation was all really nice.

Now for why I think this is a terrible game and some form of walkthrough.
(Though complainthrough is more fitting)
First, the "story". It gives me the impression that it thinks it's something new and unique.
However, it's neither of these things. From the opening lines I knew some timeshittery was involved.
First hint to know the damsel was "not to be saved" was examining the corpse.
The first thing in the game. These are forgivable, predictability doesn't automatically mean bad, so I continued.
I thought this game was going to have some depth after-all.
First little area, first puzzle. All you have to do is hit each switch as you get to them and stop once your way is clear. Okay, maybe they thought hardly anybody would try something so simple first.
See dead dragon, remember fucky switch from a second ago.
Oh, he's gonna get back up and I'll have to go pull that fucky switch.
Good design in the sense that I know what to do without being told or are the challenges being too predictable ?
Eh, it's early, I'll keep going. Nab the first orb, seeing that there are these secret collectibles confirms my suspicions about the damsel, but I think at least I'll get the real ending on the first go.
Just more rapid button press in place of challenge and all these flashbacks/forwards are getting a little annoying, but hey this spider area was cool.
I'll keep going. Easy but glitchy puzzle. You can push the torch into anything and it'll get stuck in said anything, so you have to zone out and back in to reset it. Boss, as noted is bullshit.
Not that he's actually hard, just broken. When hit he'll sometimes glitch out and get stuck until you hit him again. He doesn't really follow any pattern. Half the time I can stand in one spot with my shield out until he's dead, the other half he's choosing his paths so zany that the fight either takes forever or I get ballsy enough to try to deflect the fireball on the left (going on that side is a death sentence).
Well, might as well keep going. Area seems interesting, see gate, immediately know this is the end.
Way shorter than I thought it'd be but whatever, lets see what all these orbs accomplish.
Typical narrator trying to fight you crap with nothing actually added by the library, just the kind of thing I expected upon finding the first orb.
Okay, guess I'll go get killed by/reveal the true nature of/somehow save anyway my lady friend.
Enter Groundhog's Day loop. A little surprised, since I assumed the orbs would negate this outcome, but think that maybe not getting the orbs just leads to a bad end instead of loop.
The flashbacks become more and more annoying at an ever increasing rate.
After the fifth time, I think that I might've missed out on something I need by never not getting the orbs.
Actually notice after another loop that the pedestals stay activated.
Did I permanently fuck up getting the ending by getting them again after the hanging ?
Start completely over, the dumbest choice (as all I had to do was go to the main menu and load again to fix that, though I didn't think to try that), but this had become a contest. Between my patience and the creator.
I was gonna win dammit, I forged onward.
Not getting the orbs made no difference in the ending. You still get the page even.
Catch up to my deleted playthrough, and check the description, as well as a few reviews.
See that the "true ending" doesn't exist, yet also catch wind of there being another use for the orbs.
I check the extras to read the letters, come to the idea that I should bring them to the hanged man.
That's not it, decide to try some other things, end up getting stuck in the head of a knight statue after zoning.
I mean stuck, not even escape works and it's crashing my flash. I'm conceding defeat.

I'm assuming that character creation effects absolutely nothing, so why include it ?
Is this whole thing supposed to be a jab at the repetitive nature that all games suffer from ?
Is it taking jabs at other games that have a "pretentious", deep, different, outcome/story ?
I'm guessing that this just is one of those pretentious games, especially with your evasive answers to questions, even ones that are asking if certain things are even in this incomplete game.
At least most of those other pretentious games are actually decent games.
I understand that it's not complete (and, sadly, probably never will be), and I do think it has potential, but it fails as a game. Nothing changes, everything is pointless, in a sense that's truer than any other game I've ever played.
Maybe if I found the other use for the orbs I would discover something I'd actually find even a small amount of enjoyment from. Maybe that fabled true ending would really be something I'd never see coming.
I really don't think so though.
I may come back someday to see if I can't find that other use, if so I'll share my thoughts on it's value.
If you ever do get to complete this game, I'll give it another try.
For now, I'm very much done with it and am somewhat baffled that this got an award.

For those asking for a walkthrough, this does the job about well enough.
All the orbs are hidden fairly with visual cues. If you can't find the second one though, I understand as that's one that's less obvious, so a quick hint. Where is there a platform where it makes no sense for there to be ?
Keep a keen eye, you'll find'em.
As a final tip on how to actually beat the game: In the top left of the screen, there's a little arrow pointing to the left. Click that. You don't really want to get on Mr. Bones Wild Ride.


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Emptygoddess responds:

But Mr. Bones Wild Ride is the best ride in town. He's Mr. Bones and he's here to show you quite a time! Get on his ride, you'll never get off, and fun will be had by all!

Sorry you didn't like it. Though, thanks for taking the time to do such an in depth analysis. You obviously spent a lot of time on this.

If it ever is finished 100% I don't think you'd like it any better. It would basically be the same game just with a complete ending and a few balance fixes.


Wisdom Generator Wisdom Generator

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Well, it was pretty funny. Best one I got was "Nothing keeps the doctor away"



Day Dream Adventure Day Dream Adventure

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Really repetitive and easy. The random drops were alright I guess, some of them looked cool.
All the experience of an MMO without subscription fees or forced guild drama.


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